As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize what a true rarity it is to have grown up close (in proximity) to all four of my grandparents, to have close relationships with them, and additionally, to have known over half of my great grandparents for much of my life. I wouldn’t say I’ve ever (intentionally, anyway) taken it for granted, but I just had no idea that so many others weren’t given those same opportunities. I’m so incredibly blessed, but this closeness is also what makes the passing of my Grandma Butch (lovingly nicknamed when she was young, and it always stuck) on Tuesday morning of this week so very hard. She’s the first close loved one that I’ve ever lost, and though her life was full, it’s hard to say goodbye.

She battled many physical illnesses over these last seven years (cancer, heart damage due to radiation, more cancer), and it was so hard to see her continually be faced with sickness. But if anyone had the spirit of perseverance and optimism to withstand it, she did. I was struck time and time again in the letters she would write me, or the visits we were able to have, at how she was continually looking on the bright side. Continually noting how it could be worse, and that she was blessed. Not that she wouldn’t have traded in the cancer or other health issues if she could have (who wouldn’t?), but she bore them with such grace and faith.

I know that this seems cliche, but truly, I don’t think there is anyone who knew my Grandma that didn’t love her. She was an active, loving, encouraging person to all she knew, and talented at just about anything she put her hand to. In our younger days, she would have all of us grandkids over at her house in the summer so that we had the chance to see each other and grow up close with one another, even though some of us lived a couple hours apart. She always encouraged and pushed us to be imaginative and creative. We made candles with her, she taught us to sew, she read to us, she took us swimming, we had the best summers. She made custom dress ups and Christmas pajamas, that I always loved. I remember spending countless hours on her couch with a clipboard and plain white paper in hand, drawing as we watched The Princess Bride for the millionth time.

She was always our biggest fan. My photography, and any piece of artwork done by us grandchildren over the years, graces the walls of her bedroom and house even now. If there was only one thing I could emulate from her, it would be how well she prioritized people and always made time for them. Family first, but she never ran out of room in her heart for others. She spent countless hours writing letters to me, to all her grandchildren, family members, and friends. She leaves a legacy of being others-focused, and I’m humbled and grateful beyond words to have been a recipient of that. I hope my life will show that same love.

Grandma and all her girls. This was her “signature” pose. She always told us it was the way to minimize a double chin in photos…. :)

This is a hard post to write. No amount of words that I say will ever feel like enough to do her justice, or to fully bring closure. But, thankfully this is goodbye for now, not forever. My Grandma is rejoicing, free of cancer or heart problems, or any other worldly stresses or illness in the presence of the Father, in the splendor of Heaven. I will continue to feel sadness, but I don’t wish her back to a failing body in a temporary world. She’s where she belongs.

With a thunder roll and a brilliant light, Your glory boasts and the heavens shine
The saints and angels stand in awe, captured by the beauty of it all
So I fall to my knees, but I can’t bow low enough at the vision of You, my God

– Cielo