Last week my sweet friends Katelyn & Michael hosted a huge cook “in” (since it rained ;) for our local SHARE group (members who use the Showit website company) and I was reminded all over again how wonderful it is to have such a huge group of friends in this industry. It’s become a normal practice to me to be friendly to other photographers that I meet, and I wasn’t even reminded that it could be considered weird until recently meeting with a friend/photographer who is just starting to really grow her business. We sat down for coffee and she said, “First of all, why are you willing to help me? Aren’t we all competition?” It surprised me, at first, because I just hadn’t looked at things from that perspective for so long. There’s a whole group of people out there, I’m sure, who DO see it that way. Why would I help you? Why would I be friends with someone who’s going after the same clients as I am? That’s stupid – we’re COMPETITION!

Well, in many ways, yes, we are competition. But to be honest, when you stop and look at how different the styles of each photographer are, how some specialize in portraits vs. weddings, or babies instead of seniors, and frankly, how each PERSON behind a brand is the only one of them you start to realize how we all play a unique role in a seemingly over-crowded industry. There will always be people getting married, having babies, graduating and wanting updated photos of their families. So I can be isolated and self-focused and assume that since we all want consistent business, I can’t be friends with other photographers because it takes away my “edge” on the competition. OR, I can build a network of colleagues and friends that will allow me to collaborate on fun projects from time to time, open up 2nd shooting opportunities when I’m not booked, and allow me to refer brides to them when I AM booked, and vice versa. The fact of the matter is, when you’re willing to be kind to others and help THEIR business succeed, they will want to do the same for you. That’s HOW such a large group of photographers has become friends and why we LOVE getting to hang out with each other as much as possible! Someone else’s success doesn’t have to make me cringe or feel unsuccessful myself – there’s enough room in the world for many successful businesses and there’s enough blessing to go around for all of us. I truly believe that building others up is not only a better way to live, but a more successful way to grow a business than stomping people down on the way up. I’d rather only be halfway to the “top” and have friends than “arrive” and be alone because of my tactics.

I know that some cities are MUCH less friendly within the industry, and that we have it really, really good here in Richmond. But even if you find yourself in a place like that, instead of just feeling like, “Well, Tori, this is a great concept, but I’ll never have that where I live”, I’d encourage you to be the one that begins changing the attitude in your city. Maybe the most established photographers won’t respond, but maybe there are other younger, newer ones who are desperate for community that you could begin reaching out to and encouraging. I know it doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s an effort truly worth investing in. My life was really impacted by the first photographer meetings I went to years ago in Indianapolis hosted by Kevin Swan (one of the founders of KISS Wedding Books). He was a very established professional, doing very well for himself, and he certainly didn’t have to take the time to talk to me (someone 1 year into my business who had pretty much NO idea about the business side of things) or any of us other newer photographers. But he did. He invited us into his home, he shared many of his business practices with us, he hosted shoots and in general was just kind and generous with his time and knowledge. But I was terrified the first time I walked into a meeting. I was a “nobody” and I was so afraid I wouldn’t fit in, or that other photographers would judge me for not knowing more than I did, etc. So the way those colleagues treated me made a HUGE impression on me and my perception of the industry. I was so grateful when I moved to Virginia to see that so many are of the same mindset here, and it solidified within me that kindness, encouragement and a willingness to help others really is the best way to grow your own business, and the industry as a whole.