On Friday my dear friend Sarah blogged an amazing and vulnerable part of her heart about finding it hard to be content and focused on the work in front of her right now, and I found myself relating so much in my own way.

As most of you know, Llewyn is due to make his arrival around June 5th (give or take a week or two, of course). You may also know that (as I shared with our birth announcement) it took us longer than expected to get pregnant, which means we stopped trying to plan for the “perfect” time of year and ended up just hoping and praying to get pregnant at all. It was probably silly to ever think we could REALLY plan it ourselves, anyway, but needless to say….had it been up to me, I wouldn’t have “picked” to be due right in the middle of the most popular part of wedding season. Having to turn down so many events for May & June was not only hard….it automatically sent me into the fear of being forgotten and no longer relevant if I shot less for one wedding season. That this industry is so fast-paced and competitive that if I’m not putting myself out there at all times, I’ll fall behind and never recover. That my success and worth will dwindle. And what will I have left?

It’s such an amazing oxymoron that the very aspects of why I love this industry and owning my own business – being able to work for myself, setting my own schedule, having freedom to do the things I love, serving clients through my artistic passion, a brand that reflects ME, etc – are the very same things that constantly tempt me to fear, doubt and be discontent. Temptations like “Since you own your own business, if you take time off, no one is working for you and things are going to fall through the cracks.” or “Because you set your own schedule, you’ll never be able to stay on top of everything once the baby is born….you might as well give up, now.” or “There’s nothing super unique about you and your brand. As soon as you’re not posting as much, you’ll be easily forgotten because there are plenty of other good photographers out there.” Geesh. So self-defeating, right? How sad that the very things I love about my work – that God intends as incredible blessings – are the very things that the Enemy tries to use to steal the joy of such beautiful life events like preparing to have a baby. Instead of finding comfort and joy in a restful few weeks of very important preparation, I’m fretting about the weddings I’m not shooting and wondering if everyone’s already forgotten about me.

The truth is, as Sarah says in her post, God has equipped me for the tasks He’s set before me. Plain and simple. He’s called me to this season, here and now. He’s equipped me for this beautiful business I get to run, for this precious baby I’m about to have, for the timing of it all. And if I let Him, He will give me joy and grace to walk it out one day at a time. Choosing to fear and stress and doubt won’t do any good, or change the calling that I have right now. It will only serve to make me less effective, less focused and less content. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to waste this beautiful season by being distracted like that.

Whatever your work or life holds that is tempting you to fear or stress, to worry about falling behind, being forgotten or failing; embrace it. Know that it’s what you are uniquely called to right now, and it’s worthy of your focus. Let the lies and the fears fall to the wayside as you seek to walk it out in faithfulness one day at a time. None of us are going to do it perfectly, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do it with joy and intention.

I have no idea what becoming a parent is going to be like. And truthfully, I don’t know what it will be like to find balance between work and motherhood, yet. But it’s my joy and privilege to find out, and I’m certainly not alone in the journey. I trust that God is going to equip me to do so, and continue to bring the right amount of business my way as I learn and grow. But it’s up to me – to you – to choose an attitude of being faithful day to day, instead of fearful. Easier said than done, sometimes, but I know it’s worth the fight.

Here’s to embracing this Monday, this week, this entire journey with daily faithfulness!