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Wardrobe Wednesday | A Confession


The truth is, I’ve been struggling a lot the last couple of weeks. As any other new moms understand, your body goes through a lot of changes after having a baby. But, I didn’t expect my hair to be one of the biggest things affected.

Tori B&W Hair Confession_0001

Friends, today’s post is honest and vulnerable. I don’t have an outfit prepared to share, not because I didn’t plan well, but because I’m giving myself the month of February off to take a little refresher.

The truth is, I’ve been struggling a lot the last couple of weeks. As any other new moms understand, your body goes through a lot of changes after having a baby. But, I didn’t expect my hair to be one of the biggest things affected. Especially not still after 7 months postpartum. But, as it turns out, apparently it was waiting to really throw me curve ball until now. I’d hear other curly-haired women say that pregnancy changed their hair. The texture, the curl. Some got curlier, but most stories I heard mentioned that they lost curl. I’m not a pessimistic person, though, so I just kind of figured it wouldn’t be that bad. And for the last several months it definitely has been different, and my curl has been droopier. But I was still able to maintain my normal routine and get some great hair days, even if not as many. But as of the last two weeks….it feels non-existent compared to what I was used to. (Yes, it’s still curly by definition….but a lot of it is really more of a waive, now, instead of ringlets).

You might be thinking, “What’s the big deal? It’s just hair“. And of course in the grand scheme of things, that’s very true. But my curls have been not only my favorite and most-recognizable feature for the last 16+ years….but they’ve also been my comfort zone, and a huge part of my identity. Again, I know it’s just hair. But, I think it’s totally ok to acknowledge the struggle of change – especially when it’s out of your control. In no way do I wish I wouldn’t have had a baby (duh, hair is NOT more important than the greatest little miracle imaginable) but I’ve literally said to God, “Didn’t ENOUGH things change in my body….did this HAVE to be one of them?” But apparently it did.

The reality is, adjusting to the changes in your body – whatever they may include – after having a baby takes time. Especially when you think you HAVE adjusted and months go by, but then more change is thrown at you. And I’m smack dab in the middle of that adjustment, currently. So I want some time to try to figure out my hair as it currently is. My old routine doesn’t work well anymore, and I don’t like the way my hair has been looking. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not holed up in my house avoiding being seen. That would be silly. But I want to give myself some time to get excited about the new challenge of my hair without the pressure to fake it on my blog in the meantime. I will also likely go down to posting Wardrobe Wednesday twice a month, instead of every week. Since I’m only able to blog 2-3 times a week, now, as opposed to when I would blog 5-days a week, I want to open up room for more varied content.

Wardrobe Wednesday is certainly not going away, but thanks for bearing with me as it ebbs and flows with the current stage of my life! I’m so grateful for the love, support and friendship that you all are to me. If you’re a new mama struggling in any way with how your body has changed, know you’re not alone. But we are adaptable, and we can choose to find joy in the reality of where we are NOW (even though it’s so tempting to just spend time pining for what WAS).

Here’s to the ever-present journey of motherhood, style, and remembering that your true worth doesn’t lie in anything external!

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  1. Jen says:

    Girl, I hear you. My hair fell out in massive quantities so now I have all these patches of baby hair – large whispy clumps that wont go with the rest of my hair. I hate it. And – none of my clothes fit. At all.

    So, maybe all this is superficial, but that doesn’t make it irrelevant or unimportant. I’m with you.

  2. Nicki says:

    I can’t imagine what you are going through. Hair is something that means a lot to us as ladies. But I do know something about you Tori, no matter tight ringlet curls or loose waves you will ALWAYS be ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!

  3. Marybeth says:

    I totally understand! When my body didn’t bounce right back after my first I was really surprised how insecure that made me feel, I had more of my identity wrapped up in being skinny than I realized. God is kind to show us our false refuges and help us wrestle through finding our identity in only him. All the same, I will miss your ringlets! (And I have no doubt that you’re going to rock this new wavy look like no other!)

  4. Hope Helms says:

    My hair changing was really difficult for me too! It’s sad when the curls change and seem droopy.

  5. Elena says:

    Thank you for sharing these thoughts!! I can definitely relate to losing curl and losing the amount of hair I had before! Now that I’m pregnant again, I can tell that I have the volume back but sadly not the curl. Still working through how I want to deal with that in a natural, realistic way (I don’t see that I’ll have very much time for hair in the future!).
    As for change in my body, that was something I certainly struggled through. For me, I noticed a difference in my milk supply when I dipped below a certain weight so while nursing I stayed about 5-8 pounds above what I would have preferred (I’m nearly 5’3 so for me that’s quite a bit!), but as I see more nursing in my near future, I wouldn’t have it any other way; I loved being able to nurse my baby well and in the end, the only person who minded the extra weight was me! I’m praying for the Lord to prepare me for that time again and that He would give me the strength to give of myself in those ways again, as you said, with j o y. A joy filled mama is so much better. :)

    • Tori says:

      I hear you, girl. Thanks for sharing about your journey to embrace the change! It’s not easy. But this life as a mama is SO blessed. And I think it’s so true – no one else notices the changes as much as we do. And that’s humbling, but also encouraging. So excited for you and the next baby on the way! :D

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